So?

I can’t stop to feel hiatus, feel sad, or something worst else. I’m puzzled with this feeling, exactly everthing’s okay. And exactly, I’m fine at all. But, sometimes I just wanna mad with somebody, scream, and blame anyone. I don’t know why, but I think I have revenge, perhaps. But, I’ve forgive someone who ever break my heart. Yes, I’ve forgive him. And I on my way to fucking forget what he did to me.

Anyway, I’ve forgive. That’s impossible, I can accept you, if I’m not forgive you. But, I can’t forget. But, my love is more bigger than hate. So? I know, not it make me feel this, something more worst than when your heart broken.

Well, I don’t have any problem, I’m sure. But, maybe teenage life with problem, that’s make wonderful. But if like this, I always search everyone’s mistake. With another words, any old hurt live again, long dead and buried. So? What should I do? fufufu~ Wish me luck. I have many other things to do. Oke, I don’t have much time to hurt myself, to keep my self for thinking unimportant things, and to keep my self for loving you #ups. It’s time to forget, let go, and stop to do stupid things.

My friend said to me,

 “Miranti, laki-laki itu semua brengsek. Omongan mereka nggak ada yang bisa dipercaya. Tapi kali ini aja, dengerin aku, dan percaya sama laki-laki. Kamu pernah disakitin? Dia janji nggak akan ngelakuin hal yang sama? Omong kosong. Mumpung belum kejadian, yakinin diri, aku tau kamu sekarang juga udah capek kan? Oke, aku tau kamu mungkin mikir aku lancang atau gimana, tapi udah lah, kalau ada pertanyaan dalam otakmu kenapa aku ngomong kayak gini, aku cuman nggak mau ya Mir, denger ceritamu, keluhanmu, dan pada puncaknya nanti ketika apa yang kamu sendiri takutkan itu terjadi kamu akan nangis di depanku. Aku juga laki-laki kok Mir, kalau sekarang kamu bisa sayang sama cowok lain, itu berarti kamu udah mulai bisa, coba Mir. Cepat atau lambat aku bakal tunjukin, kalau kamu pantas jalanin hidup kamu sendiri tanpa gangguan dari dia.”  (beberapa hari sebelum…)

And he shows me. Yes, you. You never can reply what I did for you. I changed myself, I understand you, but you? hhh. Well, forget all! I don’t want to know. I don’t want to hear. And enough. All is over.

No no no, I write this not to show if I can’t. I can. Do you think I pretending? NO!

“That's their (girl) job, destroy her own feelings, and then blame them (boy).”

miranti r.a.